Wednesday, November 2, 2011

So What Do You Do When The Zombies Come? For One Don't Use Sunscreen That Smells Like Coconut

Prepping Isn't Just About Zombies
"Is that Dueling Banjos I hear?"

It will come as no surprise to much of anyone that I am a fan of zombie fiction.
Huge fan. Zombies have been my favorite movie monsters since as long as I can remember.
I saw "Night of the Living Dead" when I was about 10 years old, and brother, I was sold.
The dead rising, walking around, and pretty much making the living into a all you can eat buffet.

Most zombie films (and more recently, television shows; with the popularity of The Walking Dead) follow a standard framework: A virus or some manner of cataclysm sweeps the earth, causing the recently dead to reanimate, get up, walk around and attack the living, thereby infecting more bodies. Eventually civilization breaks downs, and the apocalypse is full swing. Usually a small group of survivors band together and usually try to make their way to somewhere that they feel will be safe....and most of the time half or more of them end up becoming some reeking carcass's tasty morsel. Most of the time, the group is armed with a variety of weapons; firearms, blades, blunt objects, even musical instruments (thank you "Zombieland) . Along with supplies of food and survival gear, the groups usually scavenge for additional essentials, all while trying to survive the onslaught of the undead.
Are legions of the undead going to overrun the planet? No. Ain't gonna happen.
But within the fantasy horror there may lie an ounce of truth.
There is another kind of zombie you might have to actually worry about.
There is, in fact, the thinking walking living zombie that permeates our culture today.
They watch reality TV, they listen to Lady Gaga, they shop at Abercrombie, they do something called the Dougie ( i have no clue), and they are so completely clueless about how to be self sufficient, that if...or should I say when..the defecation hits the oscillation, they are either going to starve out, or they are going to come and consume what you have.
The State has designed a system that makes modern Man dependent upon it. You want food? Go to the store and buy it. You want heat? You turn up the thermostat. Hear something go bump in the night? Call 911. Can't get a job and therefor have no money? Go to the Welfare Dept.
Man's ability to provide for himself has atrophied under the control of the State.
What happens when that system goes away? Man has no way to substitute it.
With the looming economic collapse ( and believe me, it's coming), civil unrest brewing all over the US, and just the over all aura of "pissed off " that seems to be everywhere these days, who knows how this will play out in the next few months or years?
Man gets hungry. Man gets desperate. Man becomes Thinking Zombie. Thinking Zombie finds Self Sufficient Man.
Thinking Zombie tries to take food from Self Sufficient Man. Self Sufficient Man ventilates Thinking Zombie with half a mag of 5.56NATO.
You as an individual cannot look to the State or the system as your salvation. Not to get all preachy or Bible-thumpy, but Jesus can save your soul, but only you can save your own hide.
How do you do this? Well for one thing, get yourself out of debt. Debt is the shackles that enslave so many of us today. Don't owe anyone anymore than you can help.
If you can, make your self energy independent, or at least partially. Don't pay more in energy bills than you need to. Learn how to raise your own food, because Mickey Dee's might not be there to feed your fat ass tomorrow. While I'm on that subject, get yourself in shape. You don't have to look like that freak on Jersey Shore, but lose some of that extra lard you've been shuffling around for the last few years. Store some food away as well. There's plenty of sources for long term storable food. Hey, if it sounds extreme or loony, don't do it. But if you do it, and don't use it, cycle it out in your regular meals. It'll save you some cash instead of eating out at a restaurant all the time....besides you know that waiter is just spitting on your Southwestern eggrolls anyway.
Learn how to shoot, get proficient with your firearms, teach your kids and your loved ones how to shoot as well. The police might not always be there to save your ass. Just ask the folks who endured Katrina.
Hey, this may sound kooky, but it wasn't always so. If you asked your grandparents or great-grandparents who went through the Depression, they'd say it was prudent planning. And they probably don't know what the hell a zombie is.

So the next time you plop down on the couch and watch The Walking Dead, just remember.... not all the zombies stagger around like a punch drunk boxer and smell like Mickey Rourke on a 5 day bender.

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